fangohr, llc presents the cohmpatibility test, a proving ground for potential clients and life partners alike.
you will be quizzed on your design sensibilities, your proclivity to buzzword abuse, and more. Ready to slide?

1. 1. What do you mean!?!?!

Who is your ideal company spokesperson?

1. 1. Jack of Jack in the Box
2. 2. The reanimated corpse of Frank Sinatra
3. 3. Dick Cheney
4. 4. Luke Wilson. Or the other one –- Owen, I think?
5. 5. A lawyer

Tell us about your assets.

1. 1. We’re going to need them enhanced. Like they do on CSI.
2. 2. All you need to do is airbrush out the iStockphoto logos.
3. 3. That’s sexual harassment.
4. 4. The green screen room is budgeted in.

Which design aesthetic most appeals to you?

1. 1. Flat, clean, minimal.
2. 2. Remember the dancing baby? That was great.
3. 3. RayGun magazine was the coolest.
4. 4. Anything Apple.
5. 5. Tila Tequila’s MySpace page

What kind of money are we talking about here?

1. 1. I can only pay you in coupons, but think how good this will look in your portfolio!
2. 2. Sufficient for you to do whatever you need to do.
3. 3. The money’s not great, but the project is interesting.
4. 4. A shit ton. Who knew that killing baby seals could be so profitable?

What’s your favorite color?

1. 1. Chase Bank Blue.
2. 2. Yellow or pink. I never minded the bollocks.
3. 3. Black, and yes, that’s a color.
4. 4. White, because it contains every color.

How many people have to sign off on this project?

1. 1. My teenage son just needs to think it’s cool.
2. 2. My boss and his boss’s boss.
3. 3. Just me
4. 4. The boardroom

Have you used any of these words or phrases in the last 24 hours?

1. 1. Out of the box
2. 2. Coolify
3. 3. pushing the envelope
4. 4. All of the above. Multiple times, in one sentence.
5. 5. Never!

Is it important for you to “go viral?”

1. 1. We signed on the Numa Numa kid, so that’s all taken care of.
2. 2. We believe in the idea. It’ll sell itself.
3. 3. This thing should be so underground no one even knows what the hell they’re looking at.
4. 4. We’re more interested in guerrilla marketing. But you should know, we won’t bail you out of jail.

In identifying your “brand strategy,” what is most important?

1. 1. Creating an exciting new paradigm that will use bleeding-edge value propositions.
2. 2. We’re thought leaders. We’re important.
3. 3. Building trust that will last longer than a carton of milk.
4. 4. Pop-under ads. That’s what we’re all about.

What do you look for in quality copywriting?

1. 1. Lots of exclamation points, and the occasional emoticon.
2. 2. Clarity, coherence, and concision.
3. 3. Just make up some shit that sounds good.
4. 4. Who cares? Print is dead.

Which statement most closely resembles your development needs?

1. 1. I asked you for a flash animation. Why isn’t it flashing?
2. 2. I’ve got this guy in Bombay who’ll build the site for $60. Can you offer a competitive price? Actually I think he’s in Mumbai.
3. 3. My application needs checkins like Foursquare, Gowalla, and Yelp. And quick: we are running low on funding!
4. 4. We’ve got funding for an idea we are psyched about, and we’d like to tackle development in an agile way. Interested?

the moment of truth...